First published on November 14, 2019 in my previous blog (liisapool.ee)
Better You workshop on 05.11.2019 in Saku Suurhall, Tallinn
“Estonians like trainings. Trainings seems to be your solution to everything” – those words were said by one of my colleagues after he heard that I had taken a day off from work to attend the biggest lecture/workshop event ever held in Estonia.
His voice was both acknowledging and sceptical, which makes sense. Passively attending training doesn’t bring much change in itself. What matters most is how the know-how is put in practice. Making a shift requires changing old patterns, building new habits and is therefore uncomfortable. Who likes that?
Importance of a shared vision
My main takeaway from the day spent in Saku Suurhall was a profound understanding that my future vision has to be co-created with the people I want to live the future together with. The common-sense realization applies the same way in business – to reach the company goals, all the employees have to buy in the same shared vision. Personal life is no different.
Attending inspirational seminars and reading motivational books is like travelling alone. The new ideas are only in my head. Telling what I learned is like showing the photos of the delicious food I ate in the exotic country and expecting my close ones to experience the same taste. People might understand, but they can never feel it the same way I did.
The shared vision is essential because this is the foundation of long-term goals. Long-term goals break down into short-term goals and tactics, which is directly visible in daily life. Daily seemingly mundane decisions/actions such as what to eat for dinner become essential when the invisible string attaching it to long-term vision becomes visible. Start with why like Simon Sinek writes. The why has to be understood the same way.
All actions you take bring you either closer to your goals and vision or guide you towards something else
The more I read different books and attend events, the less fresh ideas I can find. It makes sense because the same principles apply everywhere. Each author illustrates them with hopefully new examples, structures the key ideas slightly differently and brands it as their idea. What does it mean to me? Marie Forleo said it well in her book “Everything is figureoutable”: When you feel that you already know what is being said, then you should think if you are also practising this knowledge and how you can still improve it. Everyone is evolving in time, and the seemingly worn-out idea has the potential to start growing as it lands on a more developed ground this time.
Here are some notes that I captured from the stage.
Basics
All achievements become possible when the basic needs are covered regularly and kept in balance:
Drinking enough water
Deep breathing
Eating healthy food
Exercising regularly
Sleeping enough
Meditating
Building close relationships
Building financial security
Journaling
Eric Edmeades
When merely reading those quotes, then they sound empty (you can almost hear the echo). On stage, they were accompanied with stories that gave the flesh to the bare bone that I share here. I enjoyed Eric’s performance so much that I also bought us tickets to the 3-day course in April.
You can experience the compound effect on life with quantum level changes when repeated often
Don’t ask life to be easier – ask yourself to be more creative
If you have to be motivated to do something, then you don’t want to do it
You pay attention to things you believe in. You have to believe first to start moving towards something. You notice only the changes you are prepared to see – confirmation bias
“If we would cover food-related deaths the same way how we cover gun-related deaths then we wouldn’t even know what a gun is” – I’m currently reading “Factfullness” by Hans Rosling; therefore this example resonated me strongly as I’m still mesmerized by the book.
Who would I be today if X hadn’t happened with me? Progress is one of the most motivating things in life – in January, I did a lifeline exercise that made the same idea visual for me.
I suggest you to give the same exercise a try:
- Take a paper and draw there two axes: vertical is a scale from high to low, horizontal is a timeline from your birth until today.
- Mark on the timeline the crucial events in your life and connect the dots between the events
- Most probably your line will look like a cardiogram.
To me, it made very clear that all the lows become the starting points of new highs when looked from retrospect. I noticed that it works well on shorter time scales and specific life fields. For example, try to map the same way the highs and lows on your current work or relationship and see what patterns can you discover.
Example of the lifeline model – quick sketch of my 2019
Peep Vain
Peep was a perfect example of words matching with actions – his speech about gaining self-confidence was performed in a way that he stated real confidence should be – calm, kind and not boastful. His content was better structured than on the rehearsal presentation he did a week before in Pipedrive office, that I had the opportunity to attend. I would always listen to him again, no doubt in this.
Importance of learning to know yourself and renewing your self-image to make decisions based on up to date data. I have myself called it refreshing your self-image, which is important indeed. Sometimes it takes courage to let go of ideas about yourself that no longer hold. It can be done by asking for feedback and having open discussions with friends who know you well. I am lucky to have that kind of people around me. End of the year is a perfect time to kick off reflection circles.
Develop better self-control and self-awareness by acknowledging your feelings and thoughts. Are your ideas supporting you or holding you back?
Only you are responsible for learning from your mistakes and making conclusions on how to avoid stepping into the same buckets in the future.
You are creating your future, so please don’t make yourself cheese sandwiches when you hate cheese.
Do everything that has at least medium importance the best way you are capable of. This way you don ́t have a reason to be disappointed.
Write and think about the future. Welcome the crazy ideas and absorb them. Write them down, let them settle and let them become part of you. At one point the unreachable dreams might not seem so unattainable any more.
Et saada julgeks, tuleb teha väikseid julgustükke